I wasnervous as all get out and with good reason. I was about to appear infront of an unknown audience in disguise, under a humongous brightspotlight, and be scrutinized to the nth degree. Of course, it wouldn'tbe that bad, but my mind wouldn't accept anything less. I was quicklyconvincing myself that I couldn't do it, when Tia passed behind me."Break a leg Tommie."She gave me a look of total confidence and moved on. But why did shehave to call me Tommie in front of everyone? Even with a written 'ie' itwas still a boy's name. I was becoming embarrassed and wishing I hadbeen given or had taking a more feminine stage name. But there wasn'ttime to fret over it as I was about to take my first step on stage underthe big lights.Exiting the dark side chamber onto the brightly lit stage took everythingI could muster. I was becoming so overwhelmed that I nearly forgot I hada task to perform. The models in front of me started to stop and turn tothe stage front. That refocused my. I laughed into smoke-inspired cackles, prompting him to join. It was chronic weed.So, when the smoke and our highs cleared a bit, he made his move. "After dinner and our fire-side welcome, why don't you drop by my cabin for belt and one or two of these,” he said, pinched out the roach, and put it in his shirt pocket."You got it, cowboy," I said and tipped an invisible hat. We both laughed and headed back to my group. On the way, he slowly slid a hand from my shoulder to my asscheek. I smiled.The campfire was an altar of recessed concrete, surrounded by a circle of deadfall. Everyone gathered with twigs to skewer marshmallows and weenies. Candy began a cowboy ditty in a slightly mournful tenor. Everyone heard cowboy talent but I heard queer pain. He sang about getting doggies along and a trail made lonelier by a cowboy’s lost love. Everyone heard passion but I I heard longing.I wanted to alleviate that longing—if only for a little while, and I wanted to give him a measure of comfort—no.
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